Cant Sleep

Well here I am again on my computer! Its about 12:51 AM Mountain Standard Time I believe! HA! And I cant sleep! But what else is new!? I have always been a night owl. Mornings are not my thing at all.Well My sister Mary, who lives in Michigan, about 2,000 miles away from me, got me started on this Blog thing! HA! So here I am mumbling and typing away about what I don't know.I don't type very well so please excuse all the mistakes! You know first of I all I am a Christian woman, married, with 7 wonderful blessings from God!(Children) And two beautiful granddaughters also! Thank you Jesus! I am so thankful for my children,they have been all I had to keep me going at times. Specially times when I did not know the Lord! My children are all so very special, each in their own ways! They have taught me a lot too, as I hope I have taught them a thing or two also.The background my children come from isn't a good one at all. They have watched me go through a couple bad marriages, and they have seen me abuse drugs and seen me drunk also, on more then one occasion! But I thank Jesus for saving me from all that and given me another chance for life forever with him in heaven!Praise you Jesus! I have been married to my fourth husband now for about 4 years. But we have lived together before we were married too. So we have been together for about 8 years all together.I am very blessed and thankful for my husband too. He's a man of God, and he Loves his Jesus!He plays the sax on our worship team at our church. He goes to all three Sunday services, and he goes on Wednesday nights also to praise and worship the Lord! He has a real heart for Jesus! He goes to church more then I do. I do try to go as often as I can though.He goes to work everyday, rarely misses a day.He is so persecuted at work for his beliefs in Jesus and God!Every day at his job is a new battle for him with his co-workers and even his bosses at times! I really feel for him. And I ask everyone to pray for my husband too please! He comes home everyday right after work and he brings me his paychecks on pay days and says lets pay the bills.What a blessing he is!We do have our struggles though. We are a blended family. I had my 5 kids already when my husband and I got together to begin with. Then we had two children together, Joseph, and Mackenzie. Joseph will turn 6 December 28th, and Mackenzie turned 4 last July! My husband has been the best father my kids have ever had. And I thank him for that too! But I also feel he treats his kids better, or different from my kids. I am not saying he doesn't love my kids cause I know he does.He just seems in my opinion to favor his kids more then mine.I feel he's very hard on my kids, and Joseph and Mackenzie get away with everything! I know they are smaller, but still.God also says do not bring your children to wrath, and do not cause division in your family. I feel there's lots of division in my family.So please everyone pray for me and my family to close this gap between us. In Jesus Name.I know Jesus wants us to come together as one under him and so do I. More than ever!I am really working on this too.I know prayers are answers, so please pray for us!My soon to be 17 yr old daughter is in a program about 4 hours away from me here in New Mexico.Its a Bible based program called Teen Challenge. Its an awesome program, and is really helping my daughter to over come a lot of things in her life! Praise God!God has done many miracles in her life already. She has changed so much for the better. She was diagnosed to be Bipolar. And she was on so many meds that she had her own pharmacy here at the house! Drove us both crazy! Now I am happy to say she has not been on any meds since this past July! Praise God and Thankyou Jesus!! And she is doing better then ever! Better then when she was on all those drugs that were supposed to help her!I am so thankful for Teen Challenge! They are so in need of support to, financially! If anybody out there wants to pitch in and help support my daughter Kara, please let me know and I will get you the address to send the donation to. Even if its only 5 dollars, anything will help! This program does not receive any monies from the sate or government at all. They are considered a high risk program, cause they do half girls and boys who are drug addicts and drinkers, and have life controlling problems.So the insurance for these girls is extremely high!I think it costs about 4,000 a month for each girl to be there. So if anyone can help, please do! Please pray about this to and see where God leads you! Remember you are planting a seed when you give! And I thankyou from the bottom of my heart! If it wasn't for Teen Challenge my daughter may be on drugs, a runaway, or God only knows what! Not that shes a bad girl or anything, she just needed help that I cannot give her! She needs God! Amen!Well thanks again to everyone! Say a prayer for rme to please as I am going to start exercising again!!! HA! Please pray that I stay consistent! And exercise every day. I have high blood pressure, and am in process of being tested for diabetes.Well since all my tests have come back high, guess you could say I am diabetic.Even though I really don't want to admit it!I am way to overweight and desperately need to lose a lot!I am so tired of people asking me when is my baby due! haha! I am 42 years young! No more babies for me! Although if I had the money and if I had a bigger house and all I would have more children!! Sounds crazy huh!? But really I would! I know you all think I am crazy, but that's just how I am! I struggle with my walk with God sometimes too. As I said before I come from a very ugly background. A lot of abuse of every kind in my life! So I really have trouble trusting anyone or anything, always being scared, and seeing the negative in things and people. Not always but usualy.I am not proud of that either, but it has helped me to stay away from bad things and from making some bad decisions too.So I talk to God a lot about him changing me and helping me to trust him more in all things.And for me to believe in something I cannot see and don't understand a lot of, is a God thing for me!I have always believed in God, but I have also always been angry at him, and wondered why he let the things that not only happened to me, but what's happening in the world go on! Know what I mean??? I am growing more every day in the Lord and he has really changed me too. I know he loves me and he has his hands on me at all times! So I thank you Jesus for that too!! I am so thankful that Jesus and God are the same they never change. They are the same yesterday today and tomorrow and forever! Its not like the people of the world today. One day they like you and their your best friend and the next day they don't speak to you! Thank you Jesus!! That's one thing that means so much to me! And also that God always keeps his word! He never goes back on his word or changes it! I believe your word is who you are, what makes you so to speak. If you can keep your word and do what you say your gonna do, then don't say it!If you don't keep your word then I would never trust you again!Or believe you either.That may not be right, but that's how I am.I know things happen sometimes and you cant always keep your word. But most of the time you can! Have you ever wondered what kind of legacy you are leaving here on this earth for others to see, for your family and children to see and to be passed on to them?? Makes me wonder? I am like a stone that God picked up and threw out into this so called body of water , or into this world if you will, to make a stand for him.I am important, and the ripples that go on out after I have blended on this earth, are my legacy . Am I living a life that's glorifying to God ? Am I teaching my children to serve God and walk with him daily?? Am I setting a good example for my children and others to see God in me?? Do you ever wonder these things?? I sure do! Its so true Kids do what they see us do not what we tell them to do!After I die will my kids say my mom was a good mom and she taught me about Christ and everyday we read the Bible and we prayed together.and this is what my children will be teaching their children and so on!You know what I mean?? I may not be making any sense to you or anyone else .But I know what I mean.Sometimes I am hard to understand, even for myself!! Ha! Well I am finaly getting tired. Believe it or not. I know i have made mnay mistakes in spelling and grammer, please forgive me! Its a natural for me! HA! Well my prayers are with everyone tonight!Take care! I Love you all my wonderful family and friends!God Bless you All! And dont forget to PRAY!